It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
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