we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Randomize