She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize