I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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