im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
