too bad you live with your parents still
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
