You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize
