i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize