you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
