can we get nightvision for the apartment?
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
