i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
