aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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