I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
