I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
