New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
handjob tips. give me some.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
