and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
