i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
