Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
