im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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