We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize