Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
