morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Randomize
