The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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