my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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