Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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