How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Randomize
