If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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