my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Randomize