I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
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basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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