You made me cry and you don't even care
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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