I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Girls should come with a carfax report
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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