Welp...herpes.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
