I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
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