Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
