I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
