She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
