I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
