I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
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