hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
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