A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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