We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
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