you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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