Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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