It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
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Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
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Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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