I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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