woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
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