True but thats because hes a fetus.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
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