but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
There was a lot of him and a little penis
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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