You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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