someone threw a dead crab at me
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
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