I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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