i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
