I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
