I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
