pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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