this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Randomize
