We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears