Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends