Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
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